{"id":2093,"date":"2011-03-08T20:03:03","date_gmt":"2011-03-08T20:03:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/2011\/03\/08\/and-now-for-a-new-featurethings-too-hort\/"},"modified":"2011-03-08T20:03:03","modified_gmt":"2011-03-08T20:03:03","slug":"and-now-for-a-new-featurethings-too-hort","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/2011\/03\/08\/and-now-for-a-new-featurethings-too-hort\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

And now for a new feature\u2026..Things Too $hort Says.<\/strong>\u00a0Everything featured in this section was said by Too $hort on Sunday 3.06.11 at Yoshi\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow you gonna be broke when you got a pussy?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the fuck were ya\u2019ll doin in \u201989. Most ya\u2019ll in here were in 3rd grade listenin\u2019 to Too $hort. You wanna know what I was doin\u2019 in \u201989? I was a grown ass man. I had a drop top Cadillac, a big ass cellphone, big ropes danglin\u2019 from my neck \u2026driving cross the Bay Bridge gettin\u2019 my dick sucked.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSquare bitches shut the fuck up!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThey told me to stop taking weed from the white people in the crowd.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThere is a girl in the front row right here\u2026 I just want to fuck her face. Girl, I feel like my dick and your face have a connection.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOh look at your hands. Those are nice. I can tell they be comin when they in your hands\u2026. those are nice\u2026. Yeaaaaaah they be coming quick!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMe and Richie rich used to sell coke at the Oakland coliseum. Not like coke white but Coca-Cola.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI be fuckin\u2019 aunties. It used to be baby sisters, now it\u2019s aunties. I\u2019m 45\u2026.nigga been around. Ya\u2019ll laugh but I\u2019m telling you, Too $hort fucked your auntie\u2026.And some mammas. Investigate. Find out ask some aunties. Don\u2019t be surprised when they like, \u201cHow you know I fucked $hort?\u201d \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThere is some good grandmomma pussy in here. I\u2019m 45. I know bout good grandma pussy. Ya\u2019ll makin\u2019 faces and groan all you want, but I\u2019m telling you. There\u2019s like 6 or 7 bitches in here with grandikds that will suck your dick hard, then make you cum, then make you hard again. Yeah, man. I love that grandmomma pussy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

O<\/strong>ther things that\u00a0Too $hort\u00a0did:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 Returned to stage from a break gesturing with jumbo shrimp while chewing. He waved it around, hit a blunt,then immediately returned backstage.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Broke up weed and rolled a blunt while his band took a 15 minute R&B interlude.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

via hatertuesday<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And now for a new feature\u2026..Things Too $hort Says.\u00a0Everything featured in this section was said by Too $hort on Sunday 3.06.11 at Yoshi\u2019s. \u201cHow you gonna be broke when you got a pussy?\u201d \u201cWhat the fuck were ya\u2019ll doin in \u201989. Most ya\u2019ll in here were in 3rd grade listenin\u2019 to Too $hort. You wanna […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[382,383],"class_list":["post-2093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-hatertuesday","tag-too-short"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2093","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2093"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2093\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beerandrap.com\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}